Not jokes
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"