Not jokes

Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.

what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?

dead.

Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?

A motherboard.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.

What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.