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The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow’ He commented “What the hell is wrong with you”and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.” He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
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I was in a bar in Italy, me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number, I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found, I turned back then I saw Pessi running with it, shame on you Pessi for ruining my night! 😭
I think my dad is to black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes he disappears .🤣
I did have a good night sleep good day today and tomorrow I have for a good night sleep and sleep with my
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What is a queef? Something ur mum did in bed last night 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
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I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone
A red head, a dark haired, and blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun! The blonde states " I agree let's leave at night "!
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What did a tree 🌳 I do for a human rights rights day at a tree 🌳 I had no time today after a night night with you today but you walk away
How can you can a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
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isn't having Depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... Sleeping, but sees something moving so she gets a chair and wacks it then she says" I thought it was a mouse 🐁"
Good day today love 💕 you walk in love 😻 day and a walk home 🏡 night night I did not get snow ⛄️ I love 💕 it is the day that we get a tree 🌲 I have to go get some sleep 💤 was good day at school today but I’m going to be
