Night jokes
Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Memes
Partyyy
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
"Have fun at school night" is what?
What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.