Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book...it's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr Jones's lesson. Mr Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill"
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It’s called finding kemo.
The Wife said "Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?"
The Husband replied "They remind me of stars Darling!" "Yellow and Far apart"
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: sad
Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents
the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest
Have you seen the new movie Constipation? You haven't? That's because it hasn't come out yet.
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
you: Captain where is this plane going? Captain: New York, 175 Greenwich Street.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
In 2016, Americans took Orange is the new Black to a whole other level
