News Jokes

joker gives batman a coupan for new parents its expired

I wonder if Steven Hawkins was an organ donor cuz i need new parts for my go kart

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.

New teacher:everyone stand up if u think you are stupid.

Student: stands up

Teacher: why did u stand up?

Student: I hate seeing u stand up there by yourself

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

I other words you can also call it asphalt. Ass-phalt

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

What does Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common

they both walk over the twin towers

my son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their

Ur hairline is like a fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse. One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well parter!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”