News jokes
A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
When your plane heads for New York...
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.