So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I have a new joke. My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!
Plagiarism!
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
