News

News jokes

State

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Disease

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Age

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Dad

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Memes

Insult

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

Sign

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Source

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Vegeta

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

Name

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

Orphan

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

Book

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Dick

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Kid

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

Mom

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump