A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Did you hear the Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck".
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''
Great news for all star wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg
I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky but I lived. Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/
Happy new years 🍆🍑🍆🍑
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“
Mom👱🏻♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“
Dad👨🏻🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
What’s the twin towers favored foot ball team
: New York Jets
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new pc
What is the similarity between a orphan and the new spider man movie there's no way home
Did you hear the news? Michael jackson died, because he choked on 7 year old nuts and balls
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food: Here comes the air plane.
i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
Here Comes The Airplane!
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and dont know many people
