I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between a new born baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but least one gets picked up.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover it's called flying through the windshield and the song's name is crossing the street
Why is the U.S so mad about the twin towers it was an accident the pilots where new
Today was a bitter-sweet day... Bad news is my friend was assaulted, good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger."
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!!!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company. Probably top. Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
have you heard about the new movie with steven hawkings as the star? its called unplugged.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? Its called Trycoxagain.
Good news people michael jackson is still alive, they found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
ENTER PASSWORD.
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WRONG.
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RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
sets fire to computer
On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.
