Newness jokes
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
New groupchat??
Like a work film, to take new in the center.
More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
Hi, I'm new here.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?