Newness Jokes

What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?

They can both carve a new emotion.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.