Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
What do emos do?
Hang.
Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
