My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, then they got plane.
Did you know the Titanic sank in water?
Titanic 1, Africa 0.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reactions than the Twin Towers.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Meet the Family."
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
