Worst Jokes Ever

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?

"This taste a little funny."

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Names......

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre.

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

Religion... That is all.

Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.

Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

Why is 7 afraid of 6?

Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population.

"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.

Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.

Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby?

One makes you cry when you cut it up.