Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

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    • A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."

    The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"

    The doctor calmly replies "Nine".

    There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.

    He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.

    The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.

    Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

    Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

    I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

    An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

    Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

  • 1

    • I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.

    The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

    How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?

    Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.