Worst Jokes Ever

Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean meat.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

What did the frog say to the pedophile?

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.

If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?

"I look like an umbrella."

What is the smallest room in the world?

A mushroom.

Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?

A: Hole-y shit!

Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

......................................... ........... . . . . . . . . . .

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."

Get it? I read? No... ok.