Worst Jokes Ever
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.