Worst Jokes Ever
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
Actually doing homework.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.