Worst Jokes Ever
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
This for you roman y e e e nt
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"