Worst Jokes Ever
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.