Worst Jokes Ever
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.
Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.
Ehhhhhhhh.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.