Worst Jokes Ever
My dick itches.
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
My penis.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well, he’s all right now!
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Tyson?
Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.