Worst Jokes Ever
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Wanna know something funny?
- Women's rights.
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the bitch’s house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.