Worst Jokes Ever
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.