Worst Jokes Ever
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Professor Poopypants!!!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Pickled carrots.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.