Worst Jokes Ever
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Ttt.
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
Why didn't the Asian get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.