Worst Jokes Ever

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Where did the pig go on holiday?

Snout and about.

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

Why does Mario eat mushrooms?

Because he's a very fungi!

Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Why did the Russian cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

Your mum isn't home.

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

Husband: Is that your final answer?

Wife: Mmmmm.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: No doubts?

Wife: No.

Husband staring a long time at his wife.

Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.