Worst Jokes Ever
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Why was the Computer late to work?
'Coz it had a hard drive... LMAO
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Up your butt with a coconut!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."