Worst Jokes Ever

As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."

A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"

Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"

Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."

Brother:......

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

Me, my brother, and my dad.

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Yo mama so poor, she chased a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

What’s 2 Mexicans playing basketball called?

"Juan on Juan."

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?

A: One uses one nail to hang.

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

Poop fell off the earth.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no BODY to go with.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

He was stuffed.