Worst Jokes Ever
Test.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can never find home.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they have no home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
Sam Ryan, more like Sam Reddit!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Campbell.