Worst Jokes Ever
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.
Boobies!
"Morbius" is a bad movie (jokey).
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
My username good.
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Vagina?
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.