How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Why did the joke cross the street?
What does a Orphan call a family picture?............. A selfy
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why did hitter kill himself
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on makes it off the roof.
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
