New Jokes - Page 1032 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.

Why go to sleep because he was bossy?

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

What do frogs eat?

French fries!

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A cutting board.

What is an emo's favorite game?

Hangman.

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"