Worst Jokes Ever
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What did the retard say when the water too deep?
"Deep deep."
Dick butt.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."