Worst Jokes Ever
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.