New Jokes - Page 917 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee Fuk.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

I think them homosexuals are rather gay.

What is Saturn's favorite song?

"7 Rings."

Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.

Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.

What is a pile of balls?

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

When is the best time to go to the dentist?

2:30.

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.