What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
Who jumps the highest?
The emos; some of them are still in the air.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.
