Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Blm= Bang local mlfs
BLM be like black lives matter everyone in this chat :). BLM= Bang Local MLFS.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
One day a kid walks up to there mom and asks whey is my name daisy? The mom's reply is because when you were born a daisy landed on your head. The second kid asks why is my name butterfly? The mom's reply is because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then you hear ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf. Shut up brick!
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
