Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.