Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why did the orphan go to a church?
So he could call someone "father."
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.