Worst Jokes Ever
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
Olivia Rodrigo
Everyone put your age here.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.