Worst Jokes Ever

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.

Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he wanted to drop higher bars!

I love all races, even the bad ones.

Why did the rapper start a gardening business?

He had mad ROOTS in the game.

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?

Ad-lib-idas.

You know I wish life was shorter?

I want it over.