Worst Jokes Ever
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
What do you call a Black Iron Man?
Robert Browny Jr.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.