Worst Jokes Ever
Lessi
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.