Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
Never Jokes
What store do orphans never go to?
Home Depot 🤣
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Technoblade never got a wife.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
"Send me back, I never liked you."
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Looks like he never charged up fully.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
