Never jokes
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.