Never jokes
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
You will never have a girlfriend.