Never jokes

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

Mine never stops.

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.

He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!