Never jokes

I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

I never get off on the wrong foot.