Never jokes
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
I never get off on the wrong foot.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Memes
DOGE POKÉMON CARD!!!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!