Never jokes
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Memes
It works, my brother has never slept better
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met