Never jokes
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!