Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Never Jokes
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
