Never jokes
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Memes
It works, my brother has never slept better
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.