Never jokes

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.

What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!

No matter how much I love cake...

I would never dessert you.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.