Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Never Jokes
Dead baby jokes never get old...
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
