Never

Never jokes

Robot

  • You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

  • 0
  • Rhyme

  • The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

    Stamp

  • Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?

    Answer: A stamp.

    Monkey

  • This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.

    An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"

    His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.

    He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"

    "MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"

    "I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."

  • 4
  • Pasta

  • My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

  • 2
  • Rape

  • I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

  • 3