Need jokes

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."

What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.

He’s got himself.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?

You need to com-it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

I made a website to support orphans.

It just needs a home page.