Need jokes

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

What does cake and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

I have special needs, and I was born with it.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?

You need to com-it.

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.