Need

Need jokes

Blind

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Batter

What does cake and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.

Woman

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

Memes

Help

i need help i see this everywhere i look it kinda look like this

A black and white drawing of a monstrous, shadowy figure with glowing eyes and a gaping mouth, appearing from the dark.

Vegetable

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Mom

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Tower

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."

Cure

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

Bridge

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Exit

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Orphan

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

iPhone

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.