Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Need Jokes
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."
Who needs parents to be great?
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
