Need jokes
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
godd
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.
Teacher: Why are you late!
Girl: I need my beauty sleep.
Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.