Need jokes

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

The students at Columbine needed books, but all they got were magazines.

I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

She needs a flat surface cleaner.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"