Need jokes

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.

2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

She needs a flat surface cleaner.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.

What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts!

Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.