Neck jokes

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both want Anthony's neck.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?

Getting neck!

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his head is so high up in the air.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

What do you call a fish with no neck?

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt

And a person said to me:

"That must be a bit tight round the neck".