Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Your gene pool is so shallow you could break your neck diving in.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread, that’s about to become a rope around my neck
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Two guys watching a war movie at a Bar are talking , one says to the other. " The Nazi's starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war". The other says " my Dad died in a camp as well...he broke his neck" First guy says " how did he break his neck?" Second guy says " He fell out of the Guard Tower".
yo forehead so big it touchs yo neck
you look sexy with that rope around your neck
Do a neck reveal
what do you call a flat road named after george floyd
Flat neck road
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!
You're so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodrant!
What was the first thing thanis snapped? Loki’s neck
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That longer than I'll live.
there's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck one is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have and the second reason is to wack off
YO MAMA! Yo mama so FAT... i tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
