What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Why did the Unicorns become extinct?
Because unicorns are gay! :|
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
